Who am I?

Today I am 30 months in Germany and I would like to share some insights about the most important question of all time and all nations "Who am I?"

Being a refugee or a forced emigrant means that earlier or later you will face four main questions: Am I enough? Am I seen? Do I belong? Who am I?

These are very profound and very painful questions challenging our ego to accept the fact that we need to go through a difficult period of being nobody and nothing, letting go of old patterns and ways of behaviour, accepting everything as it is, and becoming more flexible, more adaptable, more willing and open for the uncertainty of changes that ultimately could open new doors full of opportunities and possibilities.

The period of being nobody in a new society either could kill you psychologically and mentally, or could make you a very strong and resilient person open to any changes and seeing all changes as possibilities for inner growth and transformation, and new life.

From the first day of the full-scale invasion in Ukraine and my fleeing to Germany, I tried to study acceptance, patience, and gratitude. And I had good results, revealing new facets of my true essence and letting go of old and ugly post-Soviet Union ways of behaviour. Unfortunately, this year I felt extremely not fitting, not belonging, and not understanding who I am now. In this way, I had two choices. Becoming a victim is a well-known pattern of our mind and that is easy because our mind knows how to behave in the situation of blaming others, not being responsible for our life, and feeling sorry for ourselves all the time. The other choice is more difficult and stressful to the mind as you need to destroy the old pattern and try to find the power and energy in the situation of uncertainty, in this way, there are no people whom you can blame and you are only one person who is responsible totally for your life. I gave myself a second chance, I chose changes in the situation of uncertainty.

I still do not feel that I belong here, In Germany, for 100%, I am still a stranger here, I am still very weird for some of Germans, but I am making relations with the city where I live now and Germany as a whole trying to feel them and myself there. Now I know more who I am, but this is a life-long process. I am studying not to fit myself all the time to a new society, new rules, and new culture. If people think I am not enough I thank them for this experience, take action, and go further as a rule already without them, because for them I will always be not enough. But when I feel I am enough for myself, I also change attitudes and perceptions of myself by the outside world. Forced emigration or better emphasized exile and integration is a two-way road. From the one side, you should be willing to change yourself, find yourself in the new environment but still be who you are in your core. On the other side, new countries and new people should be willing to accept others, different people, with different backgrounds, experiences, education, life perception, and mindsets. That is true diversity.

The best and easiest way to be integrated into a new society is adaptation through art and culture. Art and culture are engines that unite, integrate, accept, create and cocreate, imagine, and reimagine. Art and culture heal our souls and reveal our hidden potentials and talents. These powerful spheres, art and culture, help me to understand Germany and its traditions and rules better and deeper. Through art and culture being a human being I feel that I belong, I am enough, I am seen, and I am who I am.  

Who am I now?

A refugee?

A temporally displaced person?

A forced emigrant?

A professional in Marketing Communications?

A Brand Specialist or a Content Maker?

A Writer or a Storyteller?

An Artist?

Or maybe a nurse?

A human being? Or an invisible being?

Do people see me?

Do I have a voice?

Do people hear me?

Do people understand me?

Do they feel what I feel?

Am I enough for this society and this country? And will I be enough in the future? Or will I be only a refugee? An emigrant?

Do I belong to this society? This country? Do I still belong to my country? Do I belong to this crazy world?

Am I free?

Do I have here some rights?

Am I a foreigner here? A stranger? Am I already a stranger also in my country, in Ukraine?

A nobody.

A nothing.

A refugee in exile.

Exile….

Will it finish? How? And when?

Is exile a place, a location? Or is it only in our minds?

Who am I now? And do I have an identity?

Who am I now?

I am who I am!

Yuliia Berhe. That is my name. My identification in this tough 3D world.

The Ukrainian. This is not only my nationality. These are my roots. This is my superpower.

Communicator and Content Creator. This is my profession.

Writer, Storyteller, and Artist. This is my passion. This is the call of my soul.

A loving daughter and sister. This is my family duty.

A vivid voice and image of my country. This is my responsibility.

A foreigner in Germany, but not a refugee, not a temporarily displaced person, not a forced emigrant. I am a free human being. This is my core and my essence.

I was free. I am free. I will be free.

I am the Ukrainian living abroad, transmitting the true vibration of my country and helping, and loving it.

I am a survivor of death, I knew what it is and how it smells and I want to have a chance to be a better human being, to be a better me, authentic, and unique me....

I am who I am!