In a resonance with London. Or the healing effect of London. London,2024.

My first London was in February 2020, just before all airports were closed and a global pandemic was declared with complete isolation of people in every corner of the world. I remember that first London very vaguely and fragmentarily, with only some vivid fragments and parts, but my body recorded the sensations and vibrations that no one can ever erase or replace. Even though in 2020 I came to London in the darkest days of my soul filled and overwhelmed with severe panic attacks, anxiety disorder, permanent dizziness, and complete blurring of consciousness with a defocused vision of the world around me and black spots that popped up in front of my eyes, active nausea and stomach pain, my London then was imprinted on the level of feelings in a very positive and inspiring way.

My Soul has one resonance with London, we feel good together, it supports and helps me, energizes me and inspires me, opens my wings, and makes me fly despite all the obstacles and difficulties. I remember from that time only Waterloo Bridge because every time I took a bus near my hotel and went to the bridge for a walk (it was a direct bus, if I had to change buses, I would not have made it, it was an impossible task for me to complete). I clearly remember how at that time I always had with me sparkling water, which activates the brain a little, ammonia, which I used very often to avoid fainting, and a piece of paper with short data about who I am, where I am from and where I live now in case something really bad happens to my mind and I forget everything or end up in the hospital. I clearly remember how people in London helped me with any issue.... When I was afraid to get in the tube, they would take me by the hand and lead me to the station, waiting for me to get on my train, and this happened many times.... If I couldn't find the street, someone would immediately come out to help me, not just with words, but by taking me to my final destination.... If I couldn't buy a train ticket, someone would immediately appear nearby and had already bought a ticket for me.... These people didn't know anything about me at all, but they cared about me; openness and the desire to help and do something for another person is British DNA.

This time I came to London as a completely different person, but my resonance with it is still the same, we adore each other equally, and we support and help each other equally. During these five days, I walked a lot, trying to see as much beauty as possible and memorize it with every cell in my body so that it would last me until our next meeting. I was inspired by every street, house, coffee shop, gallery museum, park, and garden, I observed people and heard their conversations.... All of these lit a bright light inside me - you know, the kind of light that inspires you and makes you feel like you can do anything, you are full of ideas, inspiration, and strength to create and share your masterpieces with others. I haven't felt that way for a long time. In Germany, it is very difficult for me to reproduce this, because our resonances do not match, it is neither good nor bad, it is life. I am grateful to Germany for many things, I like Germany and discovered it from a completely different side, the side that is hidden, it is not for everyone, you have to dive deep to see the real beauty. But my relationship with London and the UK is completely different - they just remind me who I am and where I have to go. When a person is in resonance with someone or something, real magic happens, as if an alchemist has created an elixir of life that makes a person immortal and gives him/her superpowers.

At the level of cellular memory, I remembered all the places I had been last time, my body absorbed everything, although my brain remembered almost nothing. My body was telling me that we had already been here, remember, and I stopped and enjoyed the moment, feeling deep gratitude for being here and now, for being alive, for having gone through an extremely difficult path from which there seemed to be no way out. I also felt joy, the usual joy that children usually feel, they rejoice for no reason and without a schedule.

This trip to the UK in general and London in particular in 2024 was about feelings and memories, about vibrations and resonance, about the power of the indomitable Spirit and strength. I cried a lot this time, they were not tears of frustration, complaint, pain, or suffering, they were tears of joy and gratitude for being who I am and being alive....

With great gratitude for my extremely difficult path to awakening, healing, and inner transformation and for London, which made me believe in myself again....

April 3, 2024.